April: Are we sleepwalking into AI soup?
A message appears out of the blue: ‘I was hoping you could please share your feedback on my portfolio.’ It only takes a few minutes, and I find other copywriters’ work interesting, so I always oblige. But there’s something off about this one.
A voiceover that, at first glance, would take over 40 minutes to read aloud.
A magazine article that makes my eyes go fuzzy as I sift through strange syntax, mentally rejigging sentences until I understand their meaning.
Should I be honest, I think, and tell this aspiring copywriter their copy reads as if it were written by a bot?
Then I have a horrible thought: was this copy written by a bot?
Hang on: is this copywriter a bot?
LinkedIn is a sea of ChatGPT.
What started as a sprinkle has turned into a flood. The chat is everywhere: people praising it; maligning it; mentioning it just for the sake of mentioning it. I try to steer clear, not wanting to dwell on fears that the technology will put an end to the career I love. Then I come across a startling article about how chatbots are dangerous for humanity, and this quote leaps out:
“The technology that’s coming will be even more ubiquitous, powerful, and destabilizing. A prudent citizen, [linguist Emil M.Bender] believes, might choose to know how it works.”
It’s time to take my fingers out of my ears.
I’m oddly anxious as I enter my details. I hover my fingers over the keyboard, reluctant to feed the potentially career-stealing beast. Then I type the first thing that comes into my head. Milliseconds later, ChatGPT replies with a long-winded sentence. After two more prompts, I’m presented with six snappy lines that give me season-one Peggy Olsen meets Blade Runner vibes. I have notes:
1.lStay dry and fly in our coat
It’s not original, and it could be at least three words shorter, but it’s not gibberish like I was expecting. HMMMMMM.
2. Rain or shine, this coat’s divine!
This is hysterical to me and I’m not sure why.
3. Wear this coat and make a splash
Heart-breaking. As if the AI wants to live vicariously through me, wishing it too could feel the warmth of a coat and the joy of splashing through puddles.
4. This coat is the rain’s kryptonite
This would be perfect for an outerwear brand whose tone of voice pillars are Fresh, Confident and Psychotic.
5. Make rain your fashion statement
I’m thinking Balenciaga AI memes; of skin adorned with plastic rain drops. I’m thinking: what is this copy trying to sell me exactly and should I buy two?
6. Stay cozy, stay dry, stay happy
I imagine a robot bleating this as it foils my escape plan on a rainy night.
The ChatGPT results felt dreamlike.
When I’m on a copywriting project that requires long hours, I’ll often dream about the pages of a book. At first, I think I understand what I'm reading. But when I look closer, the letters don't form real words. From time to time, actual copy lines do crop up. That’s not a humble brag: ‘I’m so good I write copy in my sleep’; on waking, they always turn out to be nonsensical. (‘Bread is for maniacs’, a line written to persuade people to eat more bread, being my all-time favourite.)
I’d be interested to analyse dream-generated headlines from other copywriters and see how they compare to AI-generated copy. Surely there would be a strong link? Dreams are our brain’s way of processing sights, sounds and memories collected while we’re conscious, while ChatGPT works by ingesting information from articles, social posts, even questions it has been asked – in short, from our collective consciousness.
Do androids dream of copywriting sheep?
I know copywriting isn’t AI’s strong suit; to put it in the words of a LinkedIn influencer, ‘I was using ChatGPT wrong – here’s why.’ It’s better used as a brainstorming tool, a planning tool, an editing tool, blah blah blah – I know that. BUT I WANTED TO SEE IF A BOT COULD WRITE BETTER COPY THAN ME.
The dystopian fiction fan in me had to try it out, to see if I could picture it: a future where I’m drifting up the escalators, reading one nonsensical line after another, wading through AI soup, remembering the days when I used to get paid to experiment with words.
Which brings me back to the aspiring copywriter who asked me for feedback. Their copy might have come from a bot but their profile seems authentic, so I decide to take them at face value. I tell them that, while their portfolio design is great, very slick, the copy needs a hefty human edit. They don’t reply.